Marriage of Convenience (or other government benefits)

This week is my wedding anniversary to the Hubbs of 3 (or 2) years, depending on who you are, is what you know. Let me explain and the mystery will be revealed.

In 2006, I was faced with yet again another layoff from Corporate America. This would be my second in a year and a half, and the third for our relationship. Trying times they were. Fast forward a few years, two severe pay cuts, serious debt, and a bankrutpcy- here we were again, back at square 1.5. I remember that sinking, and yet exciting, feeling of not knowing what to do with myself after this job was over in a few short weeks. Even though my boss at the time had promised a few of us a job, I wasn't convinced and I knew I needed a backup plan (I was right- got the pink slip two weeks later). Of course, with losing my job, I was losing benefits too and I was getting old enough to know that I really, probably shouldn't be without insurance.

Cue Bright Idea bulb: one comfortable Saturday morning, laying in bed trying not sweat over the impending uncertainty in the weeks ahead, I turned to the Hubbs and said the words that most single men really dread: I need health insurance- LET'S GET MARRIED! Still not sure which is scarier, asking your partner for insurance or the marriage thing, two very big commitments. I should probably mention that we were already engaged at this point, not actively looking to set a date so this wasn't a terrible idea.

I'm going off topic for a second here. I think it's despicable that in such a modern country as we live in, we have managed to tie something so basic as insurance coverage to Marriage. And typical in governmentese, in most states it's illegal for gays to get married, hence robbing them of insurance coverage! There are so many material benefits to Marriage that governments have managed to keep this dying institution alive and well (even if meaningless and sometimes fraud) by denying citizens basic rights, like insurance and tax benefits. Ever think why is it that married folks get a nice tax break if they file jointly? Because Flo and her office buddies in the IRS JUST NEED to take 2 hour lunch breaks instead of flipping through a second return! I don't know about you, but I'd rather my tax dollars go towards the time it takes to process another tax return than a two-hour lunch! When will we find a way to separate marriage from conveniences and basic rights?

And we're back. So Hubbs looks at me, bewildered, and says Sure, why not? Every girl's dream, he said YES! Oh wait, wasn't it supposed to be the other way around? Ah, who cares! Two weeks later, I took a half day off and there we were: me in tube spring dress, all yellow and green flower print, and a teeny bouquet Banana (that would be my friend) made for me. It was just me, Hubbs, two friends and the lady judge- perfect. No fuss.

So almost exactly one year later, the princess in me finally caved and a small (lavish) wedding was had. For most of our friends and families, this is the only wedding they know about... until now. It does feel good to be naughty...